Being inducted into gang violence, and the hatred of it, played a huge role in my life. It shaped me in ways some may consider insane, leaving behind traits of paranoia and desensitization, (such as shootings, gang violence and incarceration of peers), and leaving me numb to all the model citizens or following esotericthe norms of individuals my age. On the brink of no return, filled with anger and anticipating murder, I came to the realization onof how deep I was in the streets, almost completely submerged in darkness, not realizing how numb I’veI’d become, but understanding I needed to change the path I was walking down. because itIt wasn’t ideal for me, I wanted more out of life rather than to be a statistic, so I decided to change the trajectory of my life and now today I am a moral man who lives through God.
It all began when I was 8 years old. I was confused and misleadmisled, while my mother was in her own depression after recently losing both her parents in a fire together a few years prior, striking a dark cloud over the entire family. She wasn't herself at all. She wasn’t able to tend to me the way she used to. beforeBefore, she would shelter me by comforting me with her warmth, making me forget about yesterdayyesterday's pain. sheShe was my safe haven from anything I ran away from, always reassuring me I was her big boy and how shell protectsshe'd protect me from anything. But this time she needed protection. I remember at my grandparent’sgrandparents' funeral she cried and held me, telling me, “You have to be the man of the house and stand up for yourself,” which I misinterpreted